It’s funny how things work out. How we worry about this and that, going over and over situations in our minds, having conversations with ourselves about different scenarios --- and answering ourselves. Wait, you do that, don’t you? And then just out of the blue when we have given up and forgotten about it or just decided to stop hoping… the answer comes in some form or another.
As mentioned on my other blog earlier this year (in this post) I decided that this year was THE year. THE year I finally treat my business as a real business. THE year I finally call myself an artist and really mean it. THE year we finally finish all our renovations. And on and on. I was all gung-ho and then the little whispers started speaking to me, calling to me from the shadows and telling me how silly I was to think I could succeed... at anything. I tried not to listen, I really did, but the whispers just got louder and louder until they were no longer whispers of doubt but shouts of accusation! They nearly drowned out the music in my heart, the melodies that sang: "You can do it --- you deserve it!" The shouts kept telling me that to have faith in myself and to call myself an artist would be like bragging and I should be more humble.
But I persevered. No matter how small and inadequate I felt, I kept on praying and reading my Bible for guidance. I took time to read daily pages from Simple Abundance. It was (and is) hard, but I was determined to make it happen because deep inside my heart there is this joy that comes when I dare to dream about living a productive, creative life. Not only do I want to live a creative life, but I want my art to inspire and encourage others… to bring them joy when they wear a piece of jewelry that I’ve made or hang one of my paintings on their wall. I want to be a blessing to someone. It's that simple.
And this week, even though I should have been working on other things, I finally got busy reorganizing my workroom. I mean completely changing it around… flipping the layout from one end to the other! I had this urge to that I couldn’t control! Even though my back was killing me I kept on working and moving bookcases, sewing machines, computer tables, printers, a couch, etc.
All the while I kept feeling that nagging doubt about being successful at what my heart wanted to do, but I worked anyway, getting my room ready for all the creativity I am determined to unleash very soon!
While moving things around, I was sorting through one of my many boxes of books. The very last one I got out was The Power of Positive Thinking by Norman Vincent Peale. My mom read his books and had several of them but I never had read anything by him other than a quote here and there. I opened up the book and chapter one was Believe in Yourself. The first paragraph read:
“BELIEVE IN YOURSELF! Have faith in your abilities! Without a humble but reasonable confidence in your own powers you cannot be successful or happy. But with sound self-confidence you can succeed. A sense of inferiority and inadequacy interferes with the attainment of your hopes, but self-confidence leads to self-realization and successful achievement. Because of the importance of this mental attitude, this book will help you believe in yourself and release your inner powers.”
Wow! I laughed when I read that and I think I cried a little, too! God knew exactly what I needed to hear (or read). This book, and more of Mr. Peale’s books, will be on my reading list.
So, thank you Mr. Peale --- and God!
And don't forget... BELIEVE IN YOURSELF!